Monday, September 24, 2012
Writing Myself Out of a Rut
This is the view from my office. It hasn't changed in nine years.
I admit it. I'm stuck in a rut. I've lost my muse. I'm spending my days in an aimless sort of fog. I have half finished manuscripts and endless story ideas running through my head, but my motivation to sit down and write is at an all time low.
This comes as a huge surprise. I was counting the days to the first day of school so that I could write, write, write - and now all I want to do is sleep.
To be fair, it's not all about writing.
I just 'celebrated' my forty-fourth birthday and with the cake and candles came the realization that my life is half over. If I'm lucky. My baby, my fourteen year old, is in his last year of middle school. He's taking two classes for high school credit this year and with that comes the realization that in four and a half years, he'll be leaving for college. My daugther is just one year behind him, so the empty nest is looming in the not too distant future.
And then there's the nine years. I've been here for nine years. Maybe you have to be a former military brat to understand the significance of that. I've never been anywhere for nine years! The view outside my office is taunting me. I'm itching to move. Dying to sell everything we own and start afresh somewhere else. I have daydreams about moving to Munich (my favorite city), to trade this tropical climate I once loved so much for the thin, crisp air of the Rocky Mountains. Hell, I even got excited when my husband mentioned a possible move to Dubai!
Unfortunately, moving right now is not an option. So - what to do? How can I shrug off this mid-life malaise? I can't change the view from my desk, but I can change myself.
Writing has been many things for me - my escape, my self-therapy, my playtime. But writing without adventure in my heart, or in my life, is apparently impossible. So, I'm going to try some new things. I'm going to dive head first into a mid-40s midlife morass of fun and adventure! (and hopefully avoid turning myself into a walking cliche!)
I'm going to try some new things and maybe retry some old things. I'm going to change my routine and possibly my appearance. Hopefully somewhere along the way, I'll rediscover my motivation to write. Hopefully I'll find my muse!